Family jokes
Why can't orphans have a computer?
They don't have a home page.
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
This is my brother after getting a girlfriend
Your mom.
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call daddy.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!