Family jokes

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

Your mom is hot.

What’s an orphan's favorite game?

Catch.

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?

Long sleeves.

What relationship status fits an orphan?

Single.

Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

My kid had an accident.

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?

She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.

Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."