Family jokes

Ya mum!

Your mom is gay, just like your dad.

Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.

If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."

Where is my dad?

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.

Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"

Orphan; "Stop calling here!"

Dad fucked Mom.

Mom fucked son.

Son fucked sister.

Sister fucked dog.

Dog fucked cat.

Cat fucked bird.

Bird fucked fish.

Fish fucked Dad.

Dad really liked it!

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

Your mum!

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

My grandpa died to ligma :(

LIGMA BALLS!

Ur dad is mad.

Mary had a little lamb.

Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

What show has something orphans will never have?

American Dad!

What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang came back.

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.