I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?
So they can be connected.
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sister.
Sister who?
My sister's ass.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
