Family jokes
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!