Family jokes

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Beans, your mum is fat!

Hi, son.

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

Did you adopt your dog?

What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common?

They both can't be found.

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.

Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They can't find their way home.

Mom!

Mom!

If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?

My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.

My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.

The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"

The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!

Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

Where do orphans go to celebrate graduation?

Their parents.

What is an orphan and an apple?

They get picked.