Family

Family Jokes

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.

Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.

Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.

Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.