Family jokes

What did the chancla say to the belt?

"It's time."

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why does your mom hate you?

Because you are a loser.

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.

This news: family neuters furry son.

Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.

What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?

Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!

Q: How to hit an orphan?

A: Hit them with a family tree.

Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?

Other man: Because.

Man: Because why!?

Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home plate.

Why can’t orphans live?

They don’t have parents.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].

POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.