Family jokes
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.