Family jokes
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can never do a home run.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home! 😂🤣
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
Never got a mother's love, lol.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Who did yo mama marry?
Joe Mama.
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.