Family

Family jokes

Grandpa

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Sister

My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.

Baby

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."

Orphan

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

Orphan

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Memes

Impostor

When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,

"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"

Orphan

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

Technology

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Orphan

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

Misfortune

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans do homeschool? They don’t have a home to do so.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually comes back.