Family jokes

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.

One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.

And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Why do orphans prefer trucks? Because, unlike their parents, it is different.

When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?

Father Les.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?

Surrounded by loved ones.

Sisters before misters.

I hope you get better.

I love you.

Father: "Son, you were adopted."

Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?

"Two wongs don’t make a white."

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because they want to be wanted.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.

Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

What did the mom say to the baby?

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?

Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.

Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!

Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.

Gina: Do you know my sister's name?

Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.

Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!