Family jokes
Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
Memes
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?
Friend: But you're an orphan.
Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.