Family jokes
Your mom is fat, and that's a joke.
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
Memes
Your momma!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
"Send me back, I never liked you."
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪