What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Family Jokes
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
Orphans have no parents.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
Hey, Mom, I am ugly.
"Facts," my mom says.
Orphans smell like Grandma cunt.
What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?
Kanye West has parents.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
