Family jokes

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

word

kskfkrke;welkt

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kfksdfksdmomfkdjg

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!

My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Yo mama!

What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?

Your mum.

"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."

Why can't an orphan play kickball?

Because they can't hit home.

Peter: *curses*

Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.

Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!

I tried to make a website for orphans.

Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.

Why can't orphans play Monopoly?

Because they never get a full house.

Why don't orphans play GTA?

Because they're sad they don't get wanted!

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."