Family jokes
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Memes
When you figure out your sibling is an online dater:
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know what home is.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home base is.
Mom! (DYM 3)
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...