Family jokes
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Yo mama joke.
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
What was the orphan's favorite cartoon show?
"Fairly OddParents."
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
My brother when i slap him on the arm. But at the same time they are not about to grow up soft.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."