Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
Family Jokes
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Why can't orphanages play baseball?
Because there's no home to go to.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.
Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
