Family jokes
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
No one has my back like my dad.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
Your mother.
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
What does the F in orphan stand for?
FAMILY 😭😭
*IT'S DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*