Family jokes

What do you say when you sister's annoying you?

Go oasis (go away sis)!

Why did the orphan have to stay at school?

Because they need to leave with a parent.

My father can take a joke because he made one.

Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?

They don’t know what home is.

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

No one has my back like my dad.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.

The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

My mom picked my major.