Family jokes
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
Sister.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.