My mom picked my major.
Family Jokes
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
What do you call Moby Dick's dad?
Papa Boner.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
