Family jokes
Joe Mama has a chode.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Memes
i'll be the minion on the right
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Din mor ligner en banan. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.