Family jokes
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
joe mama roast
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
Yo mama is so dumb, she'll watch edited Peppa Pig all day long.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Mom! (DYM 22)
Yo mama is Dora.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y