My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
Family Jokes
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
Your mom gay, lol.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
Like this joke. Ur mom.
My nan's gayyyyyy.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
