Family jokes

What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.

I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they couldn't run home.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?

Because it can't find the home button...

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

What did the orphan want for Christmas?

Parents.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”

Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?

There isn't any parents on Roblox.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

What do Indians call their father when they are born?

Data.

Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.