Family jokes

So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."

What do incest families do on Halloween?

Pumpkin.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

My grandpa died to ligma.

Ligma balls lol.

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

Friend, your mum's fat.

Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.

What was the orphan's first video game console?

PS5 because it has no home button.

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!

Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.

"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."

Why do orphans love blowjobs?

Because they actually get kissed!

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."

Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

Dad: "Yes, we arson."

Orphan: I want to be like Batman.

Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.

So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture?

A self-portrait.