Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Family Jokes
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
I made a website about orphans.
Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.
Why can you bully an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
What’s a orphan's fav movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
