Family jokes

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?

Santa got the milk.

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they can't call anyone their dad.

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.

I made a website about orphans.

Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.

Why can you bully an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

He could never get a home run.