Family jokes

Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?

There isn't any parents on Roblox.

Why did the son go to the store?

To find his dad.

What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.

I saw my sister sucking a big toe.

Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

What do Indians call their father when they are born?

Data.

Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find their way home.

Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.

They never got together at all.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.