Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY! 😩
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
If you play games, go play on your sister.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."