What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
Family Jokes
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?