Family

Family jokes

Orphan

If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Orphan

Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?

Because who wants a traffic an adult?

Orphanage

Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?

Because the children kept calling me "daddy."

Mum

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

Name

A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.

Sex

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

Dog

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

Uncle

My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

Orphan

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

Grandpa

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

Papyrus

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

Orphan

Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."

Uncle

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

Orphan

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?