Family

Family jokes

Relationship

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Well just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

Pedophile

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

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  • Bee

    These are bee puns.🐝

    I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

    I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

    (Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

    Orphanage

    I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.

    God, I love working at an orphanage!

    Santa

    You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.

    Daughter

    When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.

    It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

    Period

    Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

    The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

    Machine

    What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

    My big green pedo machine.

    Orphan

    "Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

    Ugliness

    You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

    Joe mama

    Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."

    Position

    "Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

    Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

    Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

    Condom

    When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

    Orphanage

    I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

    They said: "Because I lost my parents."

    I said: "Let's find them."

    They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.