You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Family Jokes
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
My parents love me.
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.
Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."
Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
