Family jokes
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a home page!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?
Because the principal was going to call his parents.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.