I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
Why did Billy fall off his bike? Because his dad threw a chair at him.
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago but ahe didnt tell me what it was........anyways im turning 14 next month.
Technically we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
the whole solar system is one big family right? but everyone circles the SON.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father
my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.
i just wanted to say to never let go of family they are everything never let anyone walk all over you and if you are with me like this quote
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with there dad than there mom?
They already know that there dad is gonna get " Milk " and never return
Parents: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage, Kid: why? Parents: so you don't get bored there
My Relatives Always Teased Me During Weddings saying " You'll Be Next " But they Stopped when I did the same to them during Funerals
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things then she told me to go live in it
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- Mumbai!
your mom
i hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding
your adopted
