Family jokes
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can go 1, 2, 3 but they can’t go home. 🤣
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
His gay ass dad.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!