Family jokes
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.