Family jokes
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
My little girl
Your mom.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they will tell their parents.
Joe Mama has a chode.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.
Why can orphans have a phone? Because they can find the home button.
Sister.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
Why do orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.