Family jokes
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Because they can't tell their parents.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans have no home?
Because they didn't have a family to give them one.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.
Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.