Family jokes

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.

Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

Knock knock, who's there? God.

God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!

What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

Why can't orphans have iPhones?

Because they can't find the home button.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Why did the orphan wait in line?

To see their parents next.

If aliens were real,

then orphans would finally have a home.

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."