Family jokes
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
What is an orphan's favorite time with his family?
"Me time."