Family jokes
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
me eating with my famliy
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.