Family jokes
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.