Family jokes
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.