Family jokes

Why can't orphans have an iPhone?

'Cause they can't find the home button.

What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

Father Les.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?

Because their parents were in a jam.

Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?

Because there is no home button.

I like my kids like I like my lamps.

Hung from the ceiling.

Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.

Why can't orphans have iPhones?

Because they can't find the home button.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Why did the orphan wait in line?

To see their parents next.

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

The fetus: "lol same here."

What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?

One is wanted.

Two Asian people have a black baby.

Something wrong.

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

If aliens were real,

then orphans would finally have a home.

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.