Family jokes
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Memes
It's Christmas Eve
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Your mom and your dad.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.