Family jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?

One is actually used.

Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?

Wait a minute! What am I talking about?

All orphans must hate the LGBTQIA+ because they are home-o-phobic.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.

What’s an orphan's favorite beer?

Foster's.

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Me: Knock knock.

My Grandma: Who’s there?

Me: Interrupting cow.

My Grandma: Interrupting c-

[Dies from heart attack]

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All I got was dust and my mom's wig.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.

How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?

Homemade.

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.