Family jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Your sister is your mother.
Your father is your brother.
You all shag one another.
The Inbred family.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.