Family jokes
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why is a boomerang an orphan's favorite toy? Because it actually comes back.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't see home.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.