Family jokes

I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Why can you hit orphans?

Because they can't tell their parents.

Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?

A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.

Dad, I hate you!

Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?