Family jokes

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?

Pikachu, I choose you!

Why do orphans become criminals?

So they can become wanted for once.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What is an orphan's favorite No Way Home?

I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.