Family jokes

Why can't an orphan roleplay? Because they don't have parents.

Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.

Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

What is a "dad?"

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.

Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?

I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Why can't orphans go on a field trip?

They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆

What's brown and sticky?

An orphan.

I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.