Family jokes
Why do all orphans have iPhone 10-12?
They don't have a home button.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.