Family jokes

Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."

Orphans: Where are my parents?

Random person: In the bed.

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.

Why don't teachers give orphans homework? Because they can't go home...

Me: Joe left today.

Orphan: Who's Joe?

Me: Joe mama!

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?

Motherfuckers.

What actor does an orphan hate?

Vin Diesel.

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

Why did the orphan become a criminal?

Because he wanted to actually be wanted.

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.

Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.

Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?

They have parents.

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have their parent's email.

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

Why do orphans love boomerangs?

They always come back.

Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.