Family jokes

Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

Son: Ok dad.

AFTER TEST

Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

Son: Son?

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.

Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.

Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.

Girl: Hey.

Orphan: Hi.

Girl: Wanna be friends?

Orphan: Sure.

Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"

He waited for three hours to get an answer.

His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"

Mother: How is my little cookie doing?

Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 😁♥️🍪