Family jokes
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)