Family jokes
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Why can't orphans be gay? Because then they would be home-osexual.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."