Family jokes

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

Sister: I don't want to do it, but...

Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?

None because they don't have a home.

Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.

Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

Because they actually have a father there.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

Why can't orphans be gay? Because then they would be home-osexual.

Girl: Hey.

Orphan: Hi.

Girl: Wanna be friends?

Orphan: Sure.

Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

Why are most dark jokes about orphans?

They can't complain to their parents.

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.