Family jokes
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
Memes
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Why can't orphans be gay? Because then they would be home-osexual.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."