Family jokes
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why can't orphans be gay? Because then they would be home-osexual.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."