Family jokes
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.