A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
