Family jokes
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
My mum's a carrot.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣