Family jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Me time.

Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.

What’s an orphan's favorite drink?

Fosters.

Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?

Because he can't run home.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.

Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.

Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?

Parent's signature: ___________

Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.

I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."