Family jokes

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Your uncle.

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!

What do you call an 18 year old orphan?

Homeless.

Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?

Because he can't run home.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Why are orphans so good at GTA?

Because they're not wanted.