I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
