Family jokes
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
Memes
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Pornhub suggesting me MILF on Mother's Day...
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.