Family jokes

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

What’s an orphan's favorite drink?

Fosters.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?

A: Because they actually come back.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.