If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!
If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?
That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
Like if you love God and Jesus.
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
