Faith jokes
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
Priest
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.