Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common? A: They both come in a little behind
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find God he'll help you!" and than the man said “There’s only one way to get to God and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?”
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Whats the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail too hang
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
The only difference between you and Jesus, is that jesus believed in himself.
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
