Failing

Failing jokes

Emo

What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.

Parachute

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

Parachute

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Musician

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

Dyslexic

When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?

When it fails to turn up.

Time

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

Hitler

Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.

Background

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Kid

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Wolf

Wolf looks like a fox.

It has the sharpest claws.

It has a bushy tail.

To eat, it doesn't fail.

It has a coat of red.

My grandmother has said,

It hunts in search of food.

It is never, never good!

Pacer Test

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.