Failing jokes
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
When you fail art school.
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
Why did the orphan fail in baseball?
He couldn't find home.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Memes
Epic fail moment
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
I FUCKING FAILED THE FUCKING CHALLENGE. FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCKKKKK
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
I bet Kobe failed flying school.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.