Failing jokes

Why did the feminist fail algebra?

She couldn’t solve inequalities.

I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.

Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it.

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.

His boss told him: "You suck."

And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.

His boss told him: "You suck for life!"

XD

Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

Son: Ok dad.

AFTER TEST

Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

Son: Son?

A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.

The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."

The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."

Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."

I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.