Failing

Failing jokes

Genocide

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.

Plan

Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it.

Math test

So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.

People

You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.

Memes

Mama

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Humour

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

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  • Boss

    His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.

    His boss told him: "You suck."

    And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.

    His boss told him: "You suck for life!"

    XD

    Test

    Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

    Son: Ok dad.

    AFTER TEST

    Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

    Son: Son?

    Plagiarism

    I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

    Suicide

    When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

    Letter

    After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

    ...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

    370HSSV 0773H

    All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

    One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

    "Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

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  • Failure

    My dad told me I'm a failure.

    I failed a math test.

    Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

    Attempt

    Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

    My attempt in 2021.

    And my attempt this year.

    Engineering

    A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

    This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

    Africa

    I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

    Life

    Dark Humor

    I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

    Leper

    Why did the leper fail his driving test?

    He left his foot on the clutch.

    Failure

    When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.