Face jokes

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

Looks dragon!

Draggin' these nuts across yo face!

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)

What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?

Wash off the birch sap from the face.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

"Nihha scarborough face."

A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.

You got a pig head!

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!

I have a match!

My ass, your face.

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

What do you call a pizza?

Anthony Cahill's face!

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.

A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."