Face Jokes

Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.

Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.

Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!

Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!

Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!

Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!

poopy face poopy face poopy poopy poopy face

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

tell me a joke . ok your face

A cartoon character with purple hair and blue highlights is shown in the driver's seat of a car with the text, "What if I got pulled over by a cop and just made this face the whole time."

Dani: What's so funny?

Tess: Your face! 'Cause you're ugly!

Dani: WHY!!!!!!!

It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!

So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"

A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.

When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.

The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?

"Will you listen now?!??"

What the difference with you and a Barbie there is no difference both of your face is fake

Jobs,

50 shapes head.

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.

God creates a wasp :) God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly. Angel: okay... a bug. God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth. Angel: weird.. but okay... God: and give it wings. Angel: eh, not half bad Go- God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS Angel: *shook* o-okay God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out. Angel: .-. God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin* Angel: *cries* Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*

What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.

What does a nosey paper do?

It gets "Jalapeño" your face!

My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"

When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?

When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.

After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”