Face

Face jokes

Orphan

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

Bomb

President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

President: Drop it on them!

Man: You push the button.

President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

Man: Hands over button

President: Pushes it

Both: YAAA!

President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

Both: Oh, sh*t!

Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

Penis

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

Memes

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

Drama

I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!

“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.

Priest

What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.

Pirate

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

Fat

Bully: Your fat.

Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.

Website

"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."

Wife

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

Woman

A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.

Vegan teacher

Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.

Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.

Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!

Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!

Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!

Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!

Dishwasher

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

Incest

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."