Face jokes

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?

Poker face.

How do you f**k a sheep?

Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.

Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

Your face.

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.

What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.

You got a pig head!

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

"Nihha scarborough face."

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.

COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?

Wash off the birch sap from the face.

Looks dragon!

Draggin' these nuts across yo face!

I have a match!

My ass, your face.

I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)