A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Exes Jokes
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression f**ks you harder.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
