Exes Jokes

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression fcuks you harder

My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex's perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving....

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

My ex was orphan as a child I should have taken that as the first sign. If her parents didn't want her, why would I.

What's the difference between depression and your ex? Depression fucks you harder

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell? Explosion

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal. I wanted to tell him “well can we get what we both want?” “ I was already planning on dying anyway.”

I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

Person 1:“Hey today was great” Person 2:“What happened” Person 1:“I ran into my ex today” Person 2:“What’s so great about that?” Person 1:“I was in my car”

. Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"