"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" š
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
My ex-wife still misses me...
BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
How is sex like air? Itās not a big deal unless you arenāt getting any.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
āSee how I canāt scan myself? Itās because Iām priceless.ā
I decided Iād scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out Iām worth $3.97.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
