A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
my ex's love for me :( i still love the dude sadly but i wont take him back
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we're through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf's saw them they sang... "Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
My ex boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”😂
#takemebacksophie
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
What do you call a no r-med T-rex
A T-ex
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
I had the worst day of my life, my 13 rear old EX got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard, did I mention that we were in Syria?
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex's perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
