Evers jokes

Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.

Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?

No, well neither has he.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

Why can't you ever see an emo?

They're too high to see.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.

If you're ever bored, just bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Cry to their mama and father?

What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?

The worst shits you'll ever see!

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

Best chick ever.

Call me at 6969696969.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”