Event jokes
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world? Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
It was 9/10.
I hate stairs. They are always up to something.
I love stairs. They are always down to party.
WTF happened?
Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.
U were accidental.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
Why is your hairline so put back it's looking like it was slapped by Will Smith and it needs to be fixed?
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"