Event jokes
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?
Because it had "no body" to go with.
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?