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There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.

Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.

So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.

How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?

Parents' evening.