Event jokes
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
She blew on it, and it went hard.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
Someone dies.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. We've been around the world, same song. Work hard, play hard, all day long. All the continents get jealous over me. You can see me 3D overseas. If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me. Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate.
Everyone, take off your pride flags; it's already a new month.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.