Ethics jokes
My grandfather said I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.