Ethics jokes

How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.

If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?

Yeah, neither have they.

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.

Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

What is a pedophile's favorite age range?

9-11.

Violence is never the answer:

It's the solution.

If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.

Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.