Ethics jokes

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.

I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.

If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?

Yeah, neither have they.

What is a pedophile's favorite age range?

9-11.

Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.

If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.