Ethics jokes
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.