Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
My grandfather said I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
